


Behind Baby Blues

by clintbartonsdog (Marvelous_apparitions)



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Saturday Night Live
Genre: Age Difference, Attempt at Humor, Character Study, F/F, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Insecurity, One Shot Collection, Twins, kinda cracky headcanons, neurodivergent Holtz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelous_apparitions/pseuds/clintbartonsdog
Summary: A series of unrelated snapshots diving  into the mind and heart of my favorite tiny, useless gay: Jillian Holtzmann.





	1. Age is Just a Number

Patty finds her.   
  
Because Patty always finds her - it's part of what they are, it's what they do.

Holtz runs, she hides, and Patty can sense it - like a GPS in her heart that leads straight to family. Or something. She can just sense it. 

And so she finds Jillian like this - knees drawn up to her chest, curled into herself against the cleanest wall of her lab. Fighting like hell to try and look like she's not crying. Her hair half falling out of its bun, sticking to her face, the make-up she never talks about wearing leaving sticky tracks down her cheeks. And Patty's heart breaks, just looking at it from afar.  

"Holtzy," She murmurs, walking forward, stepping into the other woman's space and gently, carefully kneeling down in front of her, "Honey," A moments pause while she thinks about where to begin. What to say to make this right, wondering if Holtzmann needs - "can I touch you?" And Holtzmann quickly nods, embarrassed, brushing her hair out of her eyes, and Patty takes the same hand frantically brushing each errant strand and holds it steady in her own, sits next to her, leans into her. Sighs.

"What happened, baby." 

"Erin," Holtz chokes out, "we got into a fight. We - well it wasn't really a fight, she said something, something - " and Jillian breaks down into sobs, can barely get the rest of the story out, but Patty listens, listens -

 

* * *

 

_"Er, hey, Er, baby, Er - watch this!" Holtzmann bouncing excitedly at the kitchen table, stacking as many fruit loops as she possibly can, one on top of the other, leaving a rainbow dusting all over the comic section of  the New York Times._

_Oblivious, kind Holtzmann. Completely unaware of the tired circles underneath her girlfriend's eyes. The nightmare she had. The kind she never talks about. And how could Holtz know, really?_

_How could she truly pay attention to the little details when it's a brand new day, the sun out, her eyes bright, and shes sitting at the table eating breakfast with the love of her life -_

_"Eriiiiiiin," she giggle-whines, kicking her lover's sock-clad feet, her own bare toes wiggling._

_The clatter of a spoon, the way it echoes, causes her to flinch._

_"God, Jillian! I love you, but could you calm down, just - GROW UP! For a second!"_

_Erin's hand flying up to cover her mouth. An apology in her eyes - one that Holtz doesn't see._

_She's already gone._

* * *

 

 _-_ and I knew it, Pats. I knew it! Erin thinks I'm too young for her, too immature, not - " sniffling, blubbering, her tears soaking the shoulder of Patty's shirt, "I'm not enough."

She sits herself up straight, all but pushing herself off of her friend, whisper-yells "fuck", wipes her nose roughly on the back of her shaking hand. 

"Holtz...Holtzmann. Shh," Patty grabs her hands in her own, puts her face into the blonde's line of vision. Makes her look at her. "Listen, I'm not one to speak for someone else. But it was early in the morning, yeah?" 

Holtz nods.

"Baby, it sounds like Erin may have just wanted some quiet time. And she blew up a little bit, and that's not cool." Holtzmann's lip trembles, and she moves to look away, but Patty shakes her head at her as she continues to speak.  Holtz holds still, vibrating with the effort of it.

"But I can almost promise you Erin isn't freaked out by your age difference - something I don't even think of, ever, as your friend either, ok? And I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to be your mom - "

She scoffs as Holtz murmurs dully under her breath, "ew", but can't fight a smile at the Engineer, too. "And, Holtz, listen to me, because it doesn't make it ok, but I'm sure she only snapped because you weren't really noticing her, when you were speaking, or dancing, or climbing up the walls - whatever it is you do at 8 am. I do not wanna know." 

And Holtzmann lets out a wet laugh, and Patty thinks, 'finally'.

She pulls Holtz into a hug and says into her ear, holding her tight, "go talk to your girl, ok? Go tell her why you're hurt, but don't you ever think you're not enough."  
  
Holtzmann nods, and Patty stands - 

and she thinks about the beauty of being found. They both do. 


	2. What's My Age Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate look at Holtz and her age. What if she was a bit younger than anyone would think?

Holtzmann comes barreling into Abby's workspace like her ass is on fire. Which wouldn't be abnormal for her - except for the nervous way she was pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth. Abby blinks, drops the book she was studying, her cup of tea tipping slightly in her other hand before she has the wherewithal to place it down on the table. Abby takes in the scene in this half a moment before Holtzmann throws up her hands and asks quickly, stilted "Abby - question - for you. You - do you - ok." Hands no longer in the air, shoved forcefully in baggy cargo pockets. Holtzmann tries again. "When's my birthday? 

Abby laughs, kicks back in her chair and stares up at the glorious oddity that is one of her best friends. The only other best friend she's ever made, except for Erin. Until Patty. 

"You don't remember your birthday? You're hitting the Pringles too hard."

She chortles again, amused by herself, before taking her glasses off to wipe them clean on her shirt, removing the tea steam. But when she puts them back on Holtzmann is frowning. 

This is going nowhere. Abby thinks. Deadpans: "Your birthday is June 11. You know this. I know this. Erin has it marked on a special god-damn calendar and Patty already knows what kind of cake she wants to bake to celebrate. Something about Ecto icing. I mean yikes, Holtzmann! What's going on right now?"  
  
Holtzmann sighs and plops down cross-legged onto the floor exactly where she's standing. Abby gets up without a word and joins her, sits right in front of her. 

"I meant the year. Should have specified. Do you know what year I was born, Abs?" 

"Oh." 

A head tilt. A literal scratch of the chin. Abby squints, does some mental calculation behind black frames.

"1984? 83?" 

"Fuck me sideways!" Holtzmann blurts out in response, before spinning around on her heels and letting her head fall back recklessly into Abby's lap. To her credit, Abby doesn't even flinch. Just looks down to meet the crystal eyes now looking straight up at her. Abby doesn't know where to put her hands until Holtzmann reaches back, grabs her left one and places it on top of her own head. Oh. This happened sometimes - but usually - usually only when her friend was under a terrible amount of stress. Or had a big secret to tell. And it hadn't happened since she started dating Erin 6 months ago. Abby was worried. Abby gently combed her fingers through whatever loose strands of blonde hair there were on the engineer's head. When Holtzmann finally confesses, its a whisper but it rings clear in the silent room. But even still, it dodges the issue, it isn't direct - 

"I was being scouted by CERN when I was 21" 

\- until Abby gets it.  And shit. She knew her friend was brilliant - unprecedented - but she didn't really see this as an option. She should have because -

"That was three years before you found me. You always said. How you had three years of not knowing what you wanted or how you'd survive, after the uh - the incident."  
  
"Ya huh," Holtzmann nods in her lap.

"You walked into my lab at Higgins with half a resume and the largest cup of coffee I've ever seen 4 fucking years ago!"

A bit of a pause now before Holtzmann assents, unable to stop an amused grin from crossing her features for just a moment for the first time since this whole encounter started. She couldn't believe none of her friends had any idea what a baby she was. Again - "Ya huh." 

"So what you're telling me is you are TWENTY EIGHT years old and you're also telling me without really saying it that you're freaking out because Erin has no idea. And Erin turns 40 in a couple weeks and has been a mess about it for days." Abby stops playing with her hair. Holtzmann sits back up and puts some distance between them. Studies her face, shrugs, says, "Yeah. Good guess. Shit."  
  
Abby waits. Holtz says, with more energy in her voice now,   
  
"I said - I said to her - 'age is just a number', trying - I don't know? To cheer her up? I kissed the back of her neck and everything while I said it - 

"Holtz, no. Ew."

Holtz ignores her protest, flying past the brief innuendo - "and she said, 'Holtz, I love you but you're too young to understand. You'll see in 5 or 6 years.' and THEN. And then Abby, she said, 'GOD you're so young. FUCK I'm so old. And she pulled away from me a little bit."

Holtz's hands are flying all over the place again and Abby cannot help but snort a laugh. 

"This is serious Yates. Erin doesn't know. She's an unwitting cougar and we don't know how she'll react!"

Abby laughs harder. 

"Holtz, what did you say when Erin was done speaking?"

"I ran!"

"But weren't you in the middle of -" a grimace. A suggestive hand motion both of them could have done with out. Holtzmann grimaces and places her face in her hands, a high mumbled,   
  
"Yes!" coming out from between them. 

Abby doesn't quite know what to do. So she just leans forward and pats her smol, stupid engineer on her wild updo. 

"Holtz you should probably tell her."  
  
"I know."

The room falls silent for a beat until Holtzmann this time starts to laugh, her head rising up from her hands to look her friend dead in the face, eyes shining with maybe unshed tears but definitely a bit of mirth -   
  
"You were in like 4th or 5th grade when I was BORN!" 

And suddenly the gentle patting is exchanged for one solid slap to the back of the head. 

 

 

 

 


	3. What's My Age Again? Part 2

Holtzmann really thought she was getting away with it.

Avoiding Erin for most of the day while she tried to figure out a way to break it to her, that is.

"Hey babe, sorry I ran out on you while you were half naked in the bunk, but my 28 year old brain hasn't learned how to handle stress yet," Holtz mutters snarkily to herself, tiring quickly of running through all the possible options.

"Erin honey, sweetie, love of my short short life. I'm so glad that I was birthed on June 11th 1988 so that I could have the privilege of becoming yours. Shit."

The wiring she's untangling becomes a tad frayed and shocks her fingers when she looks away, distracted,

"Fuck!"

Suddenly there's a warm hand on her shoulder and, recognizing the touch immediately, she sinks back into the feeling with a sigh, relieved until she remembers why she was stressing out in the first place. She tenses up all over again.

"Holtz, are you ok?" Erin asks gently, her other hand connecting with the engineer's opposite shoulder too as she begins to knead and press at the tense muscles like it's second nature to her.

 _Because it is second nature,_ Holtzmann's mind supplies fondly, _oh Erin...sweet sweet Erin..._

Holtz leans back even further into her girlfriend, pushing herself away from the workbench and bending her knees a bit, sinking into the space between Erin's raised arms and Erin reacts by stopping her massage and pulling her in close, long arms wrapping around her upper body from behind now, keeping her upright. 

"Er?" Holtz prompts softly, nervously, head turned so that her warm breath just barely tickles the space where Erin's shoulder meets her slender neck. 

"Mmm," Erin hums in acknowledgement, ducking her head down to rest her chin on top of messy blonde locks.

"I - uh. Oh man this is hard. You - " she huffs out a sigh and straightens up, almost knocking Erin in the face if not for what she would call Erin's "cat-like" reflexes.

Erin releases her and spins her around to get a good look at her eyes, which are darting unnervingly all over the map of Erin's face, over her head, and then finally down at both of their feet.

"Jillian," Erin chokes out, voice thick with worry and - fear? God, no, not what she wanted to happen at all - Holtzmann bites her lip and makes eye contact with the other woman, trying for a shaky smile to let her know - no, she isn't breaking up with her, no, this isn't serious. Well....not that serious. But still -

"Does me being younger than you...does it bother you that much?" Holtz asks carefully, slowly. But Erin still looks taken aback by the question.

"God, Holtz. Is this about earlier when - No! I mean...no. Not really? I mean look at you! I mean - " Erin laughs at herself lightheartedly, takes a consciously deep breath and takes Holtz's hands in her own, tries for somberness instead of raw panic this time.

"No Holtzmann, it doesn't matter to me how old you are. I'm just - I have been freaking out lately because 40 has always seemed like such a milestone number, at least, people make it seem to be. And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Old? Used up? The most accomplished I'll ever be? Less..." here she turns a bit shy, ducks her head, says with forced casualness, "less beautiful?"

 Holtzmann grips her hands so hard that she winces, but she doesn't pull them back, and Holtz does loosen her grip after a beat, if only slightly. 

"You," Holtz grits out between her teeth, tenderly but with so much force behind it, in a way that is pure Holtzmann, "Are Erin Gilbert. You don't need to be anything more than what you are. And you are beautiful." A whisper of a sigh exits Holtz's mouth as her jaw relaxes, and she leans forward and tilts up for a slow, feather-like kiss that melts Erin's expression into one of bliss, calm. 

They pull away from each other with a small, wet sound and bask in the glow for a moment or two before Holtz decides, well, it's now or never...

She has to ruin it. Has to come clean. Has to -

"Funny you mention that, though, ha-ha!" She begins, pulling her hands to her own body and wringing them, before putting them in an awkward sort of way on her hips, almost like a Superman - well, in this case, Supergirl - pose. Erin isn't as baffled by this abrupt shift as she should be - she is dating Holtzmann after all. But she blinks owlishly at the shorter woman nonetheless, waiting for her to continue. To explain what brought this all on. 

"You said, uh - you said my age doesn't bother you! And that," Arms away from her hips now, flying around as she spoke, and a major clue to Erin that her girlfriend was on the verge of freaking out if she didn't reach the end of her sentence - this probable conclusion - soon. 

"And that's good," Holtz finally says, only slightly settled down as she resigns herself to getting this over with. Now or never, Holtzmann. Now or never.

"Because...you said this morning that I was so young because I was 5 or 6 years younger than you. Which uh. Is way off. I'm sorry E."

Erin's brow furrows, "way off?" she repeats, processing, and then, "oh GOD! Holtzmann! What do you mean by way off???" 

"Eeeeeehhhhhhh," Holtzmann whines out, approaching the taller woman once more and placing her hands on a slender, MIT Sweatshirt-clad waist, "maaaybe about, 5 or 6 years off? Perhaps...that?"

Erin tries to jerk out of her grip but Holtzmann holds fast, laughingly pulling Erin into a tight, playful embrace as she sputters and tries to get a hold of this new reality she now finds herself in. 

"29???? You're what. 29?!"

"In uh...in 3 months. Yeee-up. Yeah." Holtz says lightly, placing kisses up the column of Erin's - very flushed - neck. 

She looks up and sees that Erin's eyes are glazed over - either from the shock, her kisses, or both. _Hopefully just the kisses_ , Holtzmann thinks, _Hm. But most likely both._

"Oh my god," Erin breathes out, sinking further into Holtzmann's embrace and tilting her neck for better access nonetheless, "I'm a cougar. An unwitting cougar."

"Those are the exact words I would use to describe it, E! Hypothetically of course," Holtz says gleefully, right before biting down - quite hard - on Erin's pulse point. Erin jerks wildly, groans, lets her eyes slip closed.

"Oh I'm going to hell for this for sure," she murmurs darkly, her breathing becoming heavier as Holtzmann's hands begin to roam, "but an energetic young blonde is kind of... - fuck, Holtzy - is kind of the hottest birthday present a 40 year old woman could ask for."

Holtzmann makes a gleeful noise into her skin and presses her up against the nearest wall almost immediately in response. 

"Erin Gilbert," she husks, taking off her own shirt as quickly as she could manage, nearly tripping somehow in the process, "you are just full of surprises."

In the end - it's not quite the cougar who pounces.

* * *

**FIN.**

 


	4. Live From New York...???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I'm actually writing my old crack headcanon from Tumblr: "Kate is Holtzmann's twin". Forgive my insanity in advance?

Holtzmann comes flying into the firehouse at an early hour - for her, at least - with a cardboard package in her trembling hands, holding it in front of her like it might explode... which is actually a possibility, really. Especially with the way she's grinning widely, her face cracked in half with the force of her glee, dimpled and wild. 

"That's it y'all," Patty comments warily, backing up half a step when Holtz approaches the kitchen island and smacks the package down on it without much ceremony. Abby and Erin follow suit, their eyes wide.  The three of them huddle together almost comically as Patty continues, "We're dying today. Of all days. On a Monday? Shit Holtzy, that's cold."

"What?" Holtzmann blinks, shakes her head and finally dims her expression down a few watts, enough that she can talk without stuttering, "Oh! No no no. No explosives. No poisons, biohazards, radioactive materials, unstable chemicals, shards of gl- " She lists off almost robotically, until Abby interrupts. 

"Oh my god. Okay. We get it," Abby laughs, "nothing dangerous. Though - it is concerning how many options you had ready to rattle off. You realize this? Anyway - " her eyebrows knit together, "what is it then? You look ready to burst into song." 

Holtz opens her mouth up wide and Abby cuts her off immediately, "don't though. God. Just. Be cool. What's going on?" 

Erin, deeming the situation safe enough at this point, moves away from her friends to stand next to her girlfriend, a hand on Jillian's arm absentmindedly stroking as she leans in to examine the print on the face of the box. 

"Karen Smith - hm. I have no idea who that is," and then, "Talent Agent? Holtz - what...."

Unable to wait any longer but also unable or unwilling to explain verbally - _that would just be too easy, wouldn't it?_ Patty thinks to herself, shaking her head. - Holtz reaches into one of her deep pants pockets and pulls out a box-cutter, slicing the cardboard almost in half with her enthusiasm, then ripping the top half of the package off to reveal - the other three lean in close and see... - 

"Okay," Patty says, voice laden with forced calm, "who's going to ask. Because I don't know where to start."

"Jill," Erin mumbles, reaching her hand out almost as if to touch the shiny object, then thinking better of it and pulling back, "is that - "

"Do you have a side job we don't know about?!" Abby throws in,impatient, hands on her hips as she blinks. Blinks again. Her forehead creasing. And then her hands just fall back to her sides. Holtz reaches into the box with both of her hands, fingers wiggling, and pulls out the newly shined Emmy Award. Attached to the bottom is a sticky note - and she pulls it off and reads under her breath,

"This is the final stop in my journey. Now my owner will have to come see you. You're welcome ;). 

P.S. Don't make me radioactive."

Holtz laughs and laughs, like she's privy to some private joke, a light glimmering in her eyes that none of the other Ghostbusters have ever quite seen before. She hugs the award to her chest lovingly and says, "Karen! This is such a Karen move, oh my god!"

"WHO'S KAREN?" Three voices explode at once, not so loud separately but nearly shaking the walls when joined as one.

Holtz spins to look at her friends and her girlfriend. She'd forgotten they were there for a second. She smiles wide, cheeks youthful and rosy, and Erin suffers a wave of nausea for a moment, teeth clenching and stomach churning with jealousy as she prepares for "old 'friend," "ex-girlfriend," anything but -

"She's my sister's agent! And now that my sister's Emmy is here she's gonna have to comb half the city until she realizes - a-ha! - and then I can finally show her my lab, maybe we can solder together for old times sake. Wait. Is she even New York right now? Or California. I should call - or write a ransom note. 'Solve this puzzle in 10 days or Mr. Emmy is a puddle of molten - yes yes YES. Where's my phone where's my," Holtzmann finally stops hugging the statue, places it down on the counter gently and makes grabby-hands theatrically before checking all her pockets for her cell, unaware once more of the ridiculous expressions of confusion - Erin, amusement - Abby, and excitement - Patty - being leveled at her. 

"Did I even know you had a sister?" Erin asks absently as she watches Holtz put on her charade.

"Your sister is an Emmy Award Winner? And you didn't think to share this with us? Why am I not surprised. This is wild!" Abby cuts in, grinning still despite herself.

"IS SHE FAMOUS, DUDE? What's she do? Actress, writer, producer? Ooooh, you know what'd be cool? Is it one of them science awards? Not far from the tree and everything I mean right?" Patty rambles on excitedly, nearly bouncing, "Holtzy baby you've been holding out on us!"

Holtzmann freezes. Just completely freezes. She doesn't even blink when she looks back to them, hands frozen in her pockets,

"You guys have no idea, do you?"

...

"Good guess, honey."  
  
"Obviously...?"

"DUH! Give this girl her own award!"

Holtzmann slaps her forehead dramatically, "right. None of us really watch television all that often - I haven't seen you, or you, and we - not one movie theater in months - damn," she takes in a steady breath, "Listen, I wasn't hiding her from you guys. I thought it was kind of common knowledge since most people have seen her one way or another and we kind of - we sort of - well we have the same face." 

The trio in front of her is beyond words at this point. Though the word "TWINS" is clearly screaming behind each of their tightly pressed lips. Their widened eyes.

"So blah blah blah anyway," Holtzmann forces out, almost embarrassed by having to share what she'd assumed was a given, "My sister's name is Kate. She's the beauty and I'm the brains, but don't tell her I said that, cuz she's the brains too, honestly..." And then the engineer beams proudly,

"Has anyone watched Saturday Night Live lately?"

* * *

**To be Continued?...**

 


	5. Live From New York...??? Part 2

The dead silence after Holtzmann's question is almost comical. 

Abby puts her fingers at the bridge of her nose and pinches, hard. Like she's just developed a migraine or - in this case - just heard something so completely unbelievable that she feels the need to wake herself up out of the dream.

Patty's jaw drops, and then works itself a little bit side to side, closes. Opens again. Nothing comes out. She looks a little pale which is...odd. Holtzmann blinks. Shakes her head like a dog, still smiling smugly. 

Erin walks herself backward until she can plop herself down into a chair for support. 

Holtzmann's grin is about to falter with concern when finally the dam breaks.

"Oh my FUCKING god!" Abby all but shrieks, "how did I miss that? There's no WAY that I actually missed that! You're like, like Superman and Clark Kent! Except not the glasses, this time it's...it's the everything?" She looks Holtz up and down and gestures with a wave. 

"I resent that," Holtz deadpans, straightening her tie and shoving her hands in her pockets, leaning back into the counter and moving her eyes to scan over Patty and Erin curiously.

At her girlfriend's searching look, Erin finally relents, wakes up a little bit, enough to murmur, "how - god, how is that even fair?" in complete wonder. Holtzmann smirks, waltzes over to her with confidence. Plops herself unceremoniously in her lap, arms loose around the taller woman's neck.

"What's not fair about it, hot stuff?" 

"W - well" Erin stammers. "You're both so talented...and so so beautiful. And brilliant. And you're a GHOSTBUSTER and she's so FAMOUS..."

Holtzmann leans closer and closer to her face as she speaks, pecks her on the nose on the last word, then pulls back to say with a scoff, playfully, "don't tell her that last part. 'so famous' pfft, as if babe. She's managed to avoid an ego this far but I'd hate to see her get one now because of _my_ girlfriend." 

"Oh baby," Erin teases, imagining jealousy that isn't there just to fuck with the engineer, "don't worry. Even though I've always been a little bit curious to see you in a dress - and take that same dress off you - I would never leave you for your sister."

To Erin's amazement - and Abby's choked laughter - Holtzmann actually _blushes_ scarlet. Pulls her hands away from Erin's neck to flap them aimlessly, almost falling off her lap as she chants, "ew ew ew" like a child. Like a sibling. And it's utterly adorable, and just loud and wild enough to finally break Patty out of her stupor. 

Patty coughs awkwardly, and the other three look at her. And she's...still looking a little queasy, to be honest.

"Oh lord," Patty mumbles, "we're gonna meet her. Aren't we. Oh...no. Oh...this is weird. Jesus god. Nope." Patty straightens her back to try and stand proud against whatever she's feeling but it only serves to highlight the weird energy radiating off her tall form.

Holtzmann scrambles off of Erin's lap clumsily and walks over to her friend to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Pattycakes...if you're like, a crazy fan of my sis or something. That makes...you and - ugh - half the women in America right now. It's totally cool and I get it, ok? She's super funny and can act like - well. She's good. Damn her, she's good. So you can..you can breathe alright? Ok." She smacks Patty's shoulder enthusiastically, "she'll be flattered." 

Patty brushes Holtzmann's hand off her shoulder gently enough, and turns away from everyone's curious, concerned, prying stares. Faces the wall. Mumbles something quick under her breath. 

"What was that?" Holtz asks, leaning in a little bit, "I didn't catch that. Did you say - "

"I said," Patty grits out, wiping over her face from her eyes to her chin with her open palm, slowly, like she's trying to cleanse her entire brain which..honestly? - "I didn't know. I had no idea. And, ah fuck man! _I've had some fairly inappropriate thoughts about your sister okay?!! **Damn!**_ " She grimaces at the wall and waits a beat before turning around to see if she can handle the other three's faces. 

Abby is sputtering, wheezing, doubled over with laughter. 

Erin looks...well Erin looks understanding about it all, a proud little smile on her face. Which makes sense, right? She's also - the little shit she is - watching her girlfriend intently to see her absurdly juvenile reaction. And boy, does the blonde deliver. 

Holtzmann's lip is curling up toward her nose, twitching, twitching, like she's trying to hold back, but -  
"EUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH," she wails immaturely, makes a hacking sound, holds her hands over her ears and shakes her head back and forth until she gets a little dizzy. And then she just...stops. Takes a few deep breaths. Gags a little bit again, theatrically this time. Breathes in once more and looks Patty dead in the face:

"Traitor." She says somberly, no bite behind it. "This...you know I can't enjoy any queer media anymore? All the usual web haunts. Kate this, heartthrob, yuck yuck yuck. Fuck! Patty...whyyyyyy?"

"As gross as this is to admit to you now that it's clicked in my head you're literally fucking twins...." Patty says with a shrug, flushed but looking a little bit better now that she and Holtz seem to have gotten it all out there, "it's because she's a fucking bombshell, yo. Don't judge me! And hilarious to boot! You know... I once dreamed of being a stand up comedian?  I mean, those days are past me. But. Damn, Holtzy. I know beauty and talent when I see it and -- Damn." 

Holtzmann stands stock still to take this in for a moment, then nods stiffly and says "that's...fair, I guess" before easing her posture, determined to move past the moment, clearly. And the other ghostbusters take pity on her.

"Soooo...." Abby asks, subtly wiping the last remaining tear from her eye, "when are you going to call her?"

"Now? Now. Yeah," Holtz beams, "I think now would be best. If she's in New York she's not filming or writing any sketches right now soo...."

She grabs her phone and dials quickly, pacing close enough to Erin that the physicist can pull her sneakily back down onto her lap. Holtzmann yelps happily, listens intently for her sister's voice picking up. 

It rings to voicemail. So she leans back into her girlfriend and puts on a thick, ridiculous Russian accent.

_Beep!_

**"Mizz, uh, Ms. Mckinnon Holtzmann? Yes yes, ah. If you ever want to see your Emmy again...you must come to zee place where all the ghosts are caught, and nuclear energy reigns. I am not...how you say, playing? No. I am not playing. Nor am I "fucking" around. Call this number back in 12 hours or leeess or Emmy gets it. It, of course, being a nice electrical meltdown into a core for one of your sistras new toys. Muahahahahah HAHA HAHah HA..."** and then in her normal voice, swallowing her own guffaw of laughter, 

**"Okay bye."**

...

... 

"I know I don't watch SNL as much as I used to anymore but I can't believe I didn't see it..." Erin says, shaking her head in fond disbelief before leaning forward to press her face heavily into the warmth of Holtz's neck. 

Abby mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, "oh my god. Olya."

 And then, after a beat -

...

"Yup," Patty deadpans. 

"Y'all related." 

* * *

**To Be Continued...Again.**

 


	6. Live From New York...??? Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final installment of my twin headcanon, at least for now. Whoever gets the reference at the very end wins...well, my utter appreciation, of course!

The next afternoon finds Abby, Patty and Erin huddled around one of Erin's large whiteboards, as the physicist explains her latest mathematical theory that could possibly help Holtz stabilize the packs even further, make them more compact even, if she can scavenge the right materials for the job.

Patty and Abby lean forward intently as Erin points and jabbs excitedly, first quickly rambling and then explaining what she meant in a practical sense without the mumbo jumbo for Patty's sake - the older woman could follow just fine, just didn't get the terminology, the raw data behind the theoretical plans, and who could blame her? Abby's head was reeling a bit at the content Erin's impressive mind so easily unleashed into the world, anyway, too - when suddenly Holtz's voice comes echoing loudly from downstairs,

"Ladies!!! I bought pizza!!! Better come grab before I eat it all. A mind like this one right here's gotta keep up it's strength! WA-HOO!! CHOW TIME!"

And then there is, inexplicably, a loud crash followed by an "oof!" and a stab of embarrassed laughter.

The three jump, a bit unsure of when Holtz had left, but move to head downstairs without much thought, their stomachs rumbling as if on cue. But before they even make it more than a step Holtz's face pops out from behind a pile of equipment, her eyebrows raised in exaggerated terror, "Don't go down there," she whispers with fright, "that's not the real me."

Patty clutches her heart with fright and stumbles backwards with a yelp. Erin lunges forward into Abby's arms and _screams,_ her eyes only widening further when this loud, high-pitched reaction results in simultaneous Holtzmann laughter from afar...and right in front of her eyes. 

It's Abby who catches on first, as usual, nearly throwing Erin from her arms - Erin stumbles, catches herself on the edge of the desk and stands upright so fast she almost falls again - and then yelling, "Holtzmann! You - I'm gonna KILL YOUR SISTER." Abby fumes, sputters, but this only serves to make Holtzmann laugh harder, even as she untangles herself from the mess of wires she is entrenched in and heads towards them, and then towards the stairs.

Patty finally puts her hand down from her chest and chases after her, "Holtzy! That was - you little - " a deep gasp of breath, halfway down the stairs now, "that was BRILLIANT!" Patty finishes to the surprise of everyone else. Erin is the last to start heading down the stairs, a little alarmed still but mostly embarrassed by the sheer volume of her yell. But even she is chuckling a bit too, despite herself. 

"Did I get em, did I get them, huh?" Comes the voice of none other than Kate McKinnon, as she slides into view from the kitchen at the bottom of the staircase, clad simply in a pair of black skinny jeans and a flowing blue top, her hair wild and messy around her shoulders, her feet adorably standing out from the rest of her in a pair of ratty white Vans. Holtzmann lets out what could only be described as a a battle cry and takes the last two steps in a leap, flying recklessly into her sister's arms, kissing her repeatedly on the forehead with loud smacking noises as they both hug tightly, increasing the pounding on the other's back until it sounds near painful, 

"You. Asshole!" Holtzmann cackles, releasing her and holding her at arms length, making a show of taking a good look at her other half, "That was brilliant! I'm so pissed I can't claim for any of that to have been my idea."

Abby walks up behind them and asks with a shake of her head, and a grin, "Holtz? That wasn't you, at all?" 

"Nuh-uh," Holtz enunciates, making a show of her pout.

"She really is the beauty and the brains then, daaaamn," Patty drawls, moving from the landing to flank Holtz on her other side, sticking out her hand for a shake, 

"You must be Patty," Kate says, her voice low and husky, grasping the taller woman's hand and with a wink, leaning down and forward to kiss it.

Patty blanches, "you told her," she stage whispers to her friend, who snorts a laugh and pops, "noPe."

"told me what?" asks Kate innocently, releasing her.

Patty backs up and all but hides behind Abby. "Uh...uh. Nevermind. Nah. It was a joke."

Kate raises her eyebrows but lets it go, leaning from one side to the other to look around her sister's body, grinning when a certain angle finally brings Erin into view half behind the entryway wall.

"Hey, Jilly baby, I think your girlfriend is hiding from me."

Erin reacts by rushing down the last couple steps apologetically, face flushed as she goes to shake hands too, but Kate laughs freely and pulls her in for a quick friendly hug, "nice to meet you, Dr. Gilbert. And thanks for putting up with my weirder half."

Erin chuckles, "you, uh. You too." They smile fondly at each other, understanding floating between their gaze. 

"ABBY!" Kate finally says loudly enough to make the woman in question jump, once her moment with Erin has passed, she darts forward to shake hands with the final Ghostbuster with excessive arm movement that gets progressively worse until the both of them start to laugh, "nice to meet you, too, doll," she drawls, putting on a southern accent and losing it so quickly that it's a blink and you missed it type of thing.

In a normal voice now, "Let's go into your kitchen, if you beautiful ladies don't mind. I'm not completely evil...I really did bring pizza."

She grabs Holtzmann by her elbow and links arms with her, dragging her to the kitchen, and the rest of them soon follow, Kate's voice carrying to their ears from up ahead almost as if she's projecting for a stage, 

"So," she begins, still hanging off her sister's arm, "tell me all about this ghost-hunting thing. Is it fun? Is there really slime, or what. I gotta know."

* * *

 

**FIN...for now.**


End file.
